What time is it?
I asked myself as a lone sound wake me up. I was wake up by the music or I wake up.
Chopin was which I have not listened for while that pieces and it was reveling away my half tuned dawn. What a beauty loneness life in that unbearably sorrowful teasing and whispering. O I come from long away afar for you! It says, I am not in this world and I am another world. As we all come from there and we all go there. The place where all things exist yet all thing negated. We can have it all and yet we will not possessed anything as we don’t need to do so. It whispers story of our life, weathered offensives sorrowful foreplays, there is seasons and no seasons so no renew and no decay. Lovers betrayers meaninglessness. The greatness and insignificant life that offer, heart rending superfluous mouthpiece, collection of a soft lover’s breathings, lone voice from the distant which we can not grasp, but only exists field of our mind, the beyond our understanding of the understanding. The testimonial life that has no pettiness no jealously but the superiority of the aloofness that our deepest longing for the consummation. It tells us how much we are after all sinful petty and raged with picked jealousies and ugly. People greediness are hording over their utter undesirability. Our afflation of hypocrisies that are not much difference than other animals. So many gruesome brutalities within us that when we are confronting our limitation and ugliness through this kind of indescribable lonesomeness that is so heartbrokenly seductive. Anyway in this dawn, it come to my pillows exploration of my sleep. You know, I went over me thinking that when something has so unbearable beauty that has also unbearable morbidity too, pure and profane kind. I think beauty is gruesomely bastardy too, like the addictions of opium. It tells me something great things happens to me, what is it? I asked. And all of sudden the dark bird at half dawn tree outside my bed room and lonely loud brassy consonance voice over and saying very authoritatively; I am here I am here little girl I am still here always! The host of voice from awareness… I am just talking alright! I am writing this in my bed… I might going to see what is the mischievous summer is doing!
