Sunday, August 30, 2009

Korean, Foster-Care Abandoners’ Conscious

What a co-variance of correlation of adoptees’ statistical pelican dancing steps! Looking at this boring as hell article! from Greg Mankiw blog! What a surprise surprise! Twist the faith of abandonees are turning up as guinea pig at a pick up line! O men Korean are making every opportunity for their golden foot prints around world of statistical line of ∑Ơµ∞ and correlation blua blau! HU Haaaaa!! High powered Confucius vintage-backbone badge comes to life to an international market for adoptions. Abandonees and abandoners all come together one heck of brain-drain statistical variance party. Korean abandonees American adoptees! Wow full-feeling cycle come to international human exchange market for green buck! Canonization of their findings of a jaw-jarring dropping blood lines, saturated into your own flesh blood vein only!

So here Korean orphans for intentional market for buck! Keep them internally, lots of social costs you know! cost wise, put them into airplanes and packaged with a parting happy jolly line “Made in Korea” well it will hunt you back for sure with guilty and shame someday. But thing is that we don’t know mean time what we have shamed ourselves for. No “pang” no guilty at least for while. Feel great for getting rid of unwanted; out of sight out of mind! I don’t want to know, well they are not mine own flesh blood who cares if they go for other countries. And some are lucky and some are less fortunate that grow up with deep wounds as their medallions of their life! Well that is too bad! Good luck to rest of them and then when these abandonees grow up, they can come back to their birth county to contribute for their own abandonment! Amazing numbers still of 300- 400 of them per annum. Korean children are quite demand. Some creepy reasons! Korea has been so busy to increase its pocket size since the war and forget to increase our feeling feeling. We don’t even bother educated ourselves for thinking of ditching the goddammed “my own flesh blood line” thing. Instead the old utter useless gadget, glued and binding into our copious dead triads, great dear bloodline – salute! Selfish gene expansion strategy! Unwelcome, an impious social ejaculation for user unfriendly! O yes bloody deep, creeping lifeless bugs ingrained into a backbone of their foster-care conscious. Well creepy stuff will be garbled their diabolic belief to parallelize their collective conscious soon or later surly! Korean feeling size and pocket size moves opposite direction in this regard. Which is could be feel relief today but they will be sorry for tomorrow. Then what happens, a society doesn’t have moral responsibility of their own kind? Now we have been so busy increasing our pocket for survival from the ashes, we now should spend on our time for little thinking and feeling. Not that easy to ditch a centuries old rusty medallion. Which born into your vein and sitting your conscious and conducting your whereabouts, but please could we have some feel our own kind? Generous to our own kind? Stop export “Korean children” to aboard! We need to grow up. Take our responsibility to bring them up our own hands instead depend on others! Surely not difficult things to do as now! Well Young Sun, you tell yourself first “What you do not wish for yourself, you must not ask other people to do! This is an ancient line but still nicely sitting your bench for nibbles your thought away Though…

Additional reminds, don't forget click last bottom bit" this paper" and also read this Korean adoption history too so you know what I am talking about

Friday, August 28, 2009

Trifoliate orange

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Why I like Snake!

When I was about 3 or 4, a summer, yes it was a blazing mid summer day sun. Our house has a partly fenced thorn trees ( I don’t know name of the tree in English, Citrus genus but fruits you can not eat only use for herbal medicine)tangled with wild roses, and surrounded by various fruits trees garden and white sandstones wall around for a huge narrow concrete yards for dry crops. And storages houses feeding to a brewing house, alongside gardens around. All summer we lay out few wooden benches for sitting under the fruit trees in the L sharp main house as well as many other spot for visitors. We can have morning breakfast blazing wide flowers pearly faces and dinners at night sky with stars. When turn off garden light, you can see the sky sitting stars embroidered cushion, embossed milky way stars, some time moon across milky way to see the sun at dawn. Weaving clouds. You know what I mean? Probably you don’t know anything at all because you never grow up with stars at night that is why! Well you are dumb then you don’t know what you don’t know! So many stars, these never changes all these starry nights, we are mere fragments you know if you know stars. You wonder where all the stars live! They live their house in the sky. They will be there for us long after we are gone! Eventually we go there too. Open space cool, we can sleep inside mosquito net with burning mosquito killer smokes. If lucky I can have some story telling going on while I sleep, half open eyes to see the sky. Good night to twinkle stars. Sun wake me up in the morning with bluest sky in your eyes. You can see red yellow pink white flowers just beside of you and saying “ good morning!” yam yam washing my face their beautiful scented hands, I bet you have no clues what I am talking about because you never wake up with flowers that is why!

Anyway long story make short, yes a summer under a blazing mid day sun, I was playing at wooden bench, saw a hug black snake was weaving white sand stone wall, like this picture below, a huge massive black snake, weaving white wall, under there is mess mess flowers; it was tope of flower bed! I was awe of it because of the sheer size. I went over there across hot flower bed and much closer to look, saw his color was not black but many different colors around his body. And I saw his dark eyes and his dark slithering tongue. He was looking at me , I was there with him and until he was gone. After he was gone I saw my grandmamma was standing behind me and saying “O it lives near the pond wonder why it comes to the house! It is a good omen!” she whispered herself!

I have been thinking that I actually mesmerized by the snake. I still don’t know why but I have always been thinking about the moment I saw the snake, shivering excitement was, enthralled by its presents, of course I have seen so many snakes afterward, but the blazing sun, shade, flowers and white wall, the sheer size of it, something that uniquely holds me deeply. I actually was thinking about the snake, the pond. Also legend of a huge snake is a guidance of waterfall near distant. I am not sure why I hold the momentary so blazing obvious momentum. But I have a clue, late I found something that linked me with the momentary enthralling exciting memory the very another way which I can not tell in public but it made me absolutely fascinating how human mind work!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Happy Birthday To Me

Few days back my birthday was! As usual Alan never remembers my birthday only remember his( he said he remember it but forget that day only!), everyone remembers his! When I was a child I mean my home town in Korea, my birthday was celebrated too, not as big as my brother’s (whole village affair) mine was family and close relative affair. This were I knew: “I am a girl he is a boy”
At the dawn, the ritual begins. My grandmamma wake me up, bathed and made me wear new traditional dress( made from new fabric, not from trimming!), made it herself, beautiful finery crafted needle work; lots of geometry flowery patterned embroidery. I was growing up fast so she had to made new one every year. I could wear festival seasons whole year, that was ok. Mind you most of my daily cloth were also made from her- I was dismayed she made me wear these. All of my friend wearing new nice cloths from shops. Old old fabric of old trimming stuff, there were plenty, never ran out. Namugunsambosal, years years she was waiting for my arrival with her sewing machine, embroidery kit and piles of ancient silk cotton trimmings ready! I was traumatized by handmade, you can tell, out of date- acutely they never brought me new cloths, full of hand me down old old cloths. Until I went away from home, had to wear these. I protest few times but she never gave in. School holidays when I came home when I find them in drawers nicely tucked away and waiting for another “me” arrival! Probably her wish was I become a bit of girly grily one- clean tidy, not talk back and bit of even tempered. But I knew she wouldn’t barter me anything whole this world for sure!

Anyway, we went to the altar room. Before ritual begins, she said to me, you could ask the ancestral ghosts whatever your birthday wishes are!” I asked her, saying ‘I have so many of them, they could possible listen and remember all my wishes, they might forget so that I could write them down on paper!” She ensured that all the godly ghosts are remember every wishes you are making, that is why they are ghosts. And she says “bow!” soft but very authoritative voice and hard to disobey, so I bowed deeply-followed her motion -four corners- ten thousand gods for our clans’ weathered colored portrays and their life recorded on rice paper binding books, which was elected in a lined the altar- prosperity and our well being. Her bow was graceful and my bows clumsy full flat bow! I wondered how she could so clean all time while I was so scrubby all time! Her coiffed hairline and face actually very graceful. Orchid in a way. Candles, burning scent sticks, moldy wooden smells, well polished wooden floors and water jars and flowers, all but solemn air. Could hear birds sings, cows lungful cry and dogs barking, as summer was breasts feeding at cobalt shoreline. Recite a birthday chants. All focus on me. Something slimier to this; the entire respectable blessed dear dearest, very honorable (wouldn’t dare to violate ghosts!) Ancestral ghosts take away all sorrows and bad things from our family and blessing with prosperity and brings many good things. Happiness this fine day, this child was born with your blessing! Bless her forever! We are very grateful for your endorsement this finest clan’s “property”, dear ghosts, sacred ghosts, please looking after her all the way her journey, make sure she is walking a straight line! With your wisdom and guidance, she grows with virtue, goodness and honor, blamelessness human being so that she added the shininess to our clan… endowed her wisdom… bula blua… while she was chanting I was counting all the good things happen that day. She could keep going hours but I made a little groin for soreness of motionless sitting…she ended ritual much shorter than her own usually. After all my birthday! Discipline gone off window! O he he … I turned out be a finest eyes to see the most wicked side of things in the world… zigzag... all these swearing…she could die with shame! ha haha so what!… obviously our dear ancestral ghosts blessed me many ways for sure, or another ways!- I could get my pocket money as a gift! Visitors gave me too! Later I could write my wishes list: allow me buy some chewing gum(I was never allowed chew them but one of girl our neighbors always bubbled her mouth) and they don’t eat my favorite rabbits and chickens, they allowed me keep my rainbow snakes lizards and frogs- but they ate my rabbits and chickens, never allowed me keep snakes at home!- able to read lots of cartoon and story books, not much school, not wearing socks …etc…on a piece of paper and laid the squawky altar table, deep deep bows few times and saying please dear ghosts don’t forget my wishes and granted them to me generously.

Anyway this year, my birthday, no one cooked for my favorite traditional dishes and rice cakes, pancakes so instead I went out for myself, had a nice dinner with few glasses of pinot noir, who set rule I break the rule, rules are for the break, I can drink whatever I want I am not following you god-dammed civilized rules. Grumbling again myself. After dinner felt little good so I went a Greek pastry shop, brought my favorite a pecan pie and a macadamia nut pie(kind of ) and came home and few glass of wine with sad sag music. Crunched crunch nuts nuts tasty like rice cakes- smell of soft sesame seed oil smells all these tasty oyster, fish pan cakes and charcoal grilled big prawns! Hot summer day under cool peach tree, the sky comes with stars as guests at grand summer shaded banquet table, gorged myself again with full of pocket money with happiness! I grumbled myself “all of you will be terribly sorry!”

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Universal Dumb!

Sun sun who is most stupid person in the universal? Planet asks sun,
Wind of course, he doesn’t know a direction, blow himself all the time everywhere whenever he has seizers, he is a silly bugger! Sun replied smugly.
Then planet goes to wind and saying.
Wind, sun says you are the most stupid unreasonable idiot in the world!
Well the universally dammed son of bitch sun!
Why on earth sitting his burning folly fended ass on boiling you up, high and dry you up day and night! Leave you guttered in a gutter!
He is a nutcase, he is a pecan nut I hate his gut! I rid him up a psycho mixer and blend him up; agitation wretched toady fagots and make a hallucination pie! I served with myself stormy sea-line, melting rock and chewed and crunched him with my sharp teethed vengeance! Then he will banish our sight forever! Hoping….! Wind flipping and hissing his wings and claim voice over planet.
Then planet turns her face to sun and saying; sun, wind says you are the most madcap dammed son of wicked universal! He says he will chew you alive and spite with dammed thunderstorm!
Well you, a little boiled tart, waste dump of the universal, you are go between a whistle blower, doping everyone so you are the most nasty dumb, a smelly dammed, fat ugly harlot of universal, begotten billons mania, paranoia children, feed them infestation of delusions and parasitosis.