Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Seizers Of Our Time

Image from Wikipedia

Image from Wikipedia
Heartbrokenly earnest. Both of them knock out splendors! All these plastic surgery or augmentation( mind you I have been thinking of having one too, fyi!!), there is nothing you can compare to these unpretentious so humble yet gloriously powerful beauty. In my view beauty is straight forward yet mystery. Never tired of looking at them, I suppose that is why certain things are timeless. You never tired of gazing at the buds or night sky with full of stars dangles on night cypresses. These picture roughly 320 years apart and probably I feel that same age both girls. Common theme goes on saying “beauty is eyes of the beholder’ well I agree with this. So in my eyes these girls are most most heartbreakingly beautiful. Entangled all the meanings and inexhaustible evocation. Different ways yet they are so alike don’t you think so? Thus make me cry. Did you see buds, just after jittering rain, not yet opens their faces, but just about “rite of spring” unbroken code of life just there for the absolute breathtaking time movement. You want to the moment seize right there, never move! But that is impossible so that is why we want these moment very cherishes. You can not have them forever! You know when you see this magic moment of wonder in a life; it is so humbling me, a presence of something that really hard to pin down yet it give us comforting but also gives you shivering awe. That is life, I think that miracles of life I think! You can call it beauty or magic of moment whatever you call it, words are not important. We don’t have enough of humbleness that is why we are longing for this humble innocence. There is no liars, no betrayers, as they are they are, truth, that is right it is truth! That is why I think. I am not or intent to be an expert who dissect what is beauty should be, or what is beauty like to be, which I don’t believe or don’t give a dammed what they say, as long as they keep their beauty to themselves not imposing their thousand-rated beauty on me that is fine by me. Lots of people won’t agree with my taste of beauty but who cares anyway this is free world you can make statement everything you like, whatever you take a fancy. O but please keep your beauty to yourself don’t impose to your gospel beauty on me Ok? That is insulting our powerful intelligent Ok?

Saturday, September 26, 2009

OO Men, OO Boys?

Image from NY Times

OO men, OO boys, O please please tuck your underwear into your pants. Here are my utter dismay, couples on this nice tucked in article from NY Times (also see my nice poached photo too!). Every time I saw “half man” buttocks with their underwear pendants, Wow am I too gone off? Or they are too legendry ridiculers in our time. I respect their freedom indeed, as you can wear your bras in your face as sunglass while you are sun bathing. You can have a tongue piecing with a motorbike or you have can huge watermelons on your breasts( I am bit nasty in here) a huge snake tatoo on your chest (I agree with this indeed!!), but not “ watch my underwear on the road” I have been trying to figure out who were wrong, ME or them. Thanks thanks this article elated my sanity. Joy, make me I am not alone whole this world. I had no one to ask whether that is new fashion trend of sarcophagus or redemption of new butlers’ crucifixion. Dispersed walking time bombs were on road shows around cities and exposed their hot bums. Killing off their lethal Apollo-ish attraction. O I dismay their godly emblems battle between trend natters, non-trend mutters. Beautiful as they are, I am utterly concern their bums-bombs culture might ruins a slops of magical distraction of natters.

Whenever I saw them I was deeply worry that their pants felling off from beauty slops and world can see their whereabouts manhood.

Am I wrong? Or am I too boring? Or What? Or am I really ruefully wrong in here? O Why…?

State of Confusing Update: been thinking, honestly be honest OK all we woman out there, how many woman can resist if these bums are not covered by the “garments”. Ok be honest Ok!! Gosh sooo confusing isn’t it?

Monday, September 21, 2009

A Summer Dream

I had a dream last night. I was in a seashore. A huge shaded covers on shore, a kind of mid afternoon. I think it was my home town. But the setting was very modern, not like our dreamy old town. But it was very familiar so my old hometown turn into some kind of a strange resort town, as it is now. I was staying at a hotel. I am not sure whether I was wearing any bathing suite or another cloths on or not, but I was aware that my cloths were another island, somehow I left my cloths at a island which behind of the island front of me where I was standing, so I was at the shore, was looking at these small islands. Acutely island were very small in my dream. Colorful sunny summer day. Clearest waters and sky. Purest force of summer. I was little agitated because of high tide. I was worry that my clothes washed away. But I was happy and gay. And I returned at a hotel. While I was acrossing a lobby restaurant, nicely polished wooden tables, at near stairwell, a little girl(less than 10 years old) was sitting alone and looking into a menu (which bigger than herself) very dignified manner, you know the innate very polished manner but she didn’t know what to drink, so I told her “have a beer!” I told her kind of “know it all” in a way. I knew that she was under age, and slightly irritated by it so she should not be there by herself. What on earth always yourself girl! I told her. I come to my room, went to the bathroom and had shower, and turned into a mirror and looking into myself and putting cream things on here there and try to picked up tissues from silvery tissue box, wow, white tissues were a socked into fresh crimson blood. It was blood. I knew it instantly. Why on earth blood? I said to myself but I was not surprised it, I didn’t asked any query apart from my own grumblings. I wipe off my creamy hands with white towel instead. And I woke up with hearing my own moaning with music.

I think the small islands were our hometown shore where we used to swim at summer. Our skin becomes dark chocolate colors with colorful bright bathing suite. My boyfriends were always side glances at me, bit of like crabs. I was the only child was born in that year in our home town so all my boyfriends were older than me, I didn’t have any girl friends I am not sure why. This is truly mystic! They were dirty young boys, I think! I was fully aware for sure. I was bit early developed all that area. At high tide, we were swimming there all summer. But we always left our clothes shore, at near fresh waterfall. So that after swim we can have shower. And we change behind a huge rocks.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

A Strange Dream

Execution! Wow I was in USA in my dream! Winding few seasons back! A strange dream was. But I had lots of strange violent dreams anyway! Hoping no more! It was a very violent dream indeed. People said that there were three occasions, crimes have been committed, it didn’t say what sort of crime, but the penalty were all of them have death penalties. Three of them were all caught. The executions have been carried out panoramic way. One of them was executed by hanging, very vaguely, I was become aware(heard) of that the hanging has taken place, but the hanging scenes was not clear. Vey hazy kind of scenery, I didn’t see the hanging, only heard of it. Very fast moving, lots of people were there, I was told by whispers that the hanging. And moved on second offence. The second execution was taken a place where, a rough stones foothill, cloudy gray dark scenery, it might have been a early morning or twilight or a dark cloudy day. It might have been a near rail road, so the bottom foothill was a wide road where lots of spectators for the execution, a crowed was cheering the execution. The top of a road, a man chasing a criminal, and the human criminal was rolling down from the top of the hill to down, and the chaser-executioner hold a huge scythe and was running down with the criminal. A kind of chasing. That was the method of execution, one stage the executioner swung his scythe cut the criminal head off from the criminal’s body, and the head was rolling down like any other stone from the scene and become eventually a stone. We all cheering up the sense. I am not sure I was of part of the cheering! That was end of the second execution. The third one was put him(not sure whether a man or a woman, I refer as a man, in general man are more violent than woman! Sorry non-violent peace loving men!) into a glass house for a lethal injection. So people can see the killing process to the criminal. The house has summer furniture, dark scenery probably somewhere at a summer house sea with tinted windows. Three chairs was laid out at front of window, people said the criminal sit at the middle chair. But people were saying that he was waiting for the President Bush presidential pardon. People was whispering the pardon will be arrival in any second so the lethal injection has been delaying. They didn’t say “what if the presidential pardon won’t be arrival” then there I wake up. And I have been thinking, I probably read so much American newspapers or blogs I even had weird American dreams. It really bit bizarre!! But I was not afraid of them at all, some violent dream I was often screaming screaming but this dream I was very much a part of cold blooded specters or executioners. I was in charge! Nice nice finally I become not a victim of dreams but an executioner of dream! I like that like that very much! Emotionless expressionless, motionlessly no empathy whatsoever just see through the scenery! Why?..

Saturday, September 12, 2009

An Encountering

I was stretching after running at a river bank… on a nice sunny weekend day.
I met a smart lady with two kids.
Conversation starts something like…
Hi, a nice day!
Yes, are running everyday?
Yes, kind of an addiction… I groan with stretch humping popping…
O you speak very good English and looking very fit!
Where are you from? She asked
Thanks, I come from Korea, how about you?
Turkey, I am 30, have been here for 15 years but my English is not so good.
I have never gone to school in here.
I taught myself English at home thought watching TV.
But my husband now has his Turkish channels, so I have to watch Turkish channes instead English channels. Reading Turkish books and magazines. I can not read English books.
She flicks her shinning eyelids, dark embossed innocent irradiation in her eyes.
Your English is very good, me too, my English is Kon-glish, what can you do, you just speak speak your mouth like goose mouthed, you tongue tucked into tungsten line, bburk bburk quurrk guurkk…heheh…
I was reading lots of books; read everything English, watching lots of English Cartons, Disney things! Yes moves, speak qurkk quirk… whether anyone understood or not!
No shame my gain! My voice was getting dark low toned excited.
Well I don’t a have chance to see these, I am busy for cooking cleaning….
Anyway they are my two children.
I take them school, picked them up every day and cook and cleaning, that is all I do.
I only mingled with lots of friends speak same language.
O but I want to learn, when they grow up next years so,
I will go to school, want to learn English,
O some others thing too,
But my husband doesn’t like that idea either.
He wants me stay at home and looking after the children.
But I want to go to school, study and want to work someday.
They will grow up speak only English, they will want us to speak English too, not only Turkish.
You have to be with them all time when you have children. I don’t have time for myself.
Her mouth was spilt into an accumulated heated steam-cooker; fast, fierce and urgent and whisper O yes hers was whispers… desperation…eager and sincere…murmur…
Or bewildement of her own unexpected spills to a total stranger!
O of course you can go to school, of course you want to know lots of things.
If I were you I would tell him that if he were ever a really intelligent man he would prefer a loveliest mind boggling wife on beside of him, instead a forgotten dumb-bum nagging ugly wife at his backseat. I baffled.
O I don’t understand what you are saying… that is my husband, I have to go…, bye, a nice talking to you…
Do you have any children?... she asked
No, I said.
You are very lucky! No, children why?... She is gone

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Godly Laughing Dream

So funny I had a dream early this morning. I was a god amazing. I laid down somewhere in the field and looking at the sky I was laughing so funny. There was lots of people around, where the bible story transformed into scenery. Dark old field, I said to a god that I don’t believe you are a fake. Something like that and I said to lot of thing to the space. Then he(voice) said to me “ you are the god from now on” nice voice, yes that goddammed god voice. And then people worship me, they calling me a god. So start laughing laughing and my body stretched like marshmallow or jelly fishes soft… O like Dail’s melting time serious return series or something excel spread sheets. You do the magic scores, humh… do you think I was in an excel spread sheet do the CAPM for mess return series! So my body spread kind of four corners and I was lengthily drew a laughing security market line or capital market line, or hang around somewhere an efficient frontier tangent and I wake up and was knowing that that was dream but I still laughing, and I feel my body movement because the hilarious of laughing!

Been thinking: While I was running and thinking over where I was in my dream. Actually I was a part of field yes that was right I was part of field, field was a world side of bed (field), soil was nice cotton sheet and no I was par of soil that was right I was part of soil, kind of erotic dream I think of with soil, a god and I, godly soil rutting with space with dreamy dream. Not a bad, a space is my bed I was sleeping a sphere bed. So actually I was god then…? do you think I should believe a god sake of me? If a god ever exist that is right I am a god hahahhah…..

Another thinking: It was a first time I have ever had a dream that I was laughing and still laughing I wake up and was thinking that it is a ridiculous dream but I still was laughing, acutely my body was moving and I felt. I was fully aware it was a dream and I was laughing at same time.